Recession

The recession is a blessing in some ways. It has collapsed boundaries, encouraged risk-taking and entrepreneurship, and toughened us so that we will operate with superb efficiency once this is over. Bootstrapping is great because it ensures a nice return on investment. Running a business is so "artistic" in a sense; so much of it is about execution, "craftsmanship," the small things. Everyone has great ideas; very few have the drive to follow through on them. I've run a number of small operations in the past, and I use the same mentality I use for creative writing, whether I'm checking for glitches on the site, organizing documents, preparing correspondences, running around the city with countless errands: "This is it. This is what it means to run a business. If you don't enjoy this, you're a fake. One of those people who talks a lot and never gets anything done." So intense is my fear of becoming one of those people I'm incapable of procrastination (to my detriment at times). And this is what I think when the going gets tough with writing: "This is it. This is what it means to be a writer. If you can't handle it, you're one of those people who only loves the idea of things and not the work itself. And above all, you believe in work."

Work. Muscle. Density. There is nothing I love more than a sense of productivity. That a day has passed and left behind a lasting product of some sort.

I am grateful for everyone who resonates with me on this note. People who are swift, polite, and hardworking. This project has given me a new found appreciation for technicians, plumbers, fixers, and factotums of every variety. There is just something to be said for people who do their job well. Impossible to function without their efforts.

Some will argue with this, too, but art is usually a compressed version of life. I won't try to define it here, but I think I can come close by saying it involves a concentration, a process of taking out, whittling away. All the old paradoxes are at work: limitations strengthen the creativity muscle, discipline brings freedom. The less cash I have, the more I am forced to make each dollar mean something.

In some ways, I am glad certain opportunities did not work out for me and that I am thrown off the old track.